Friday, May 02, 2014

For someone that constantly talks about how important date nights are to new parents, I must admit Regan and I haven't had one this year. We've been caught up in this crazy whirlpool of work stress, life admin, a teething baby, a sick parent. This year started off in a sprint and it hasn't slowed down yet. On Wednesday night we had our first grown up night out for 2014.

Unsurprisingly, I spent most of the day in an excited bubble.

Yay for adult conversation!
Yay for drinks!
Yay for sitting in the impractically chilly backyard (something we'd not do with Sophie because it's outside in the evening - she'd get cold)!

Guys I even did my hair (another first for 2014)! I'm guilty of letting my appearance slide sometimes (an occupational hazard I think), so imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror after all my primping! It was lovely to put away my tired mom with the dirty top knot face even if it's just for one night.

Leading up to us leaving the house Sophie became extra clingy, more so than usual. I always feel like she senses when we are going to leave her. Is this even possible? We left her with my mom, happily eating flings and watching NCIS

We had dinner at Lefty's with another couple that has a daughter close to Sophie's age. Conversation was flowing and jumped happily from work to babies to marriage and back to babies. I had the best time.

One thing I continue to feel is that when you're a mother you have to resign yourself to the fact that you will probably feel guilty about 65% of the time.

Guilty about everything.

When we got home it was just after midnight. Both Regan and I expected to walk into a silent house. But our little Sophie had other ideas. She was up, moaning and judging by her puffy eyes has obviously been crying for quite some time. I walked into our bedroom only to find her sitting on our bed, facing my mom, with the saddest little expressing on her face. As soon as she saw me she came shuffling towards me, saying "hidere mama hi dere". I swear I had to choke my sadness down. I picked her up and she cupped my face in her little hands and gave me 7 kisses and then rested her head on my shoulder and patted my chest. It was as if she expected to never see me again.

Sophie has always been a clingy baby. When she was just born she'd happily be held by anyone until she heard my voice. I wish I could say it's changed but as she gets older she's become better at communicating her feelings and what comes across most often is her reluctance to be separated from Regan and I.

It makes it so hard to enjoy a night out because even though Regan and I need the time away from her, the guilt for leaving her behind slaps us through the face as soon as we get home. How can I feel good about a night out with friends when I know my little boo is so miserable at home?

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to sacrifice my time with Regan but I can't go out and have fun knowing she's just sitting at home pining for us.

Is this something children grow out of? Is it something they learn?

Post a comment

I love comments!


© We Are The Humans | A South African Parenting and Lifestyle Blog. Design by FCD.