I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT MOM, BUT I KNOW IT'S UNAVOIDABLE


I just finished reading a wikiHow on introducing discipline to your toddler. I think it’s obvious that a desperate mother will accept any advice. You see, Sophie is a brat, I don’t want her to be one, but I know she is. I also know that the blame for this can be placed completely at our feet.

Since Sophie was born we have indulged her every whim. We’ve now reached this crucial stage of parenting, where I know she knows. She knows that if she pushes she will get her way. She knows that while I may reprimand her, if she giggles I will probably ease off, relent and accept defeat. She knows that her daddy has a spine made of jelly and is therefore completely incapable of standing up to her. She knows that she owns us. Well almost. I say almost because I am at the point now where I have been bitten, scratched, spat on, kicked, hit and had my hair pulled perhaps one too many times.



A few days ago I had a chat about spanking with my sister (who has a 6 year old daughter). My sister is not pro or anti spanking one way or the other and I see myself as the kind of mom who might dole out a light smack and the cry a little after... But before I get into this spanking question I feel you must know that my mom was a spanker too. I have many memories of her running around the house with her plastic soled pink Woolies slipper racing to add some colour to our bums. I remember trying to escape, as the smack was about to land. I remember those strategic back arches to minimize the power of the blow. I remember the days when we really stepped out of line, the days when each word was a smack (as in: why [smack] did [smack] you [smack] do [smack] that [smack]). But most importantly what I remember is the absolute lack of resentment, feelings of abuse or neglect or hatred after said smacks. At the time I’m sure I was angry and I know my bum hurt but I didn’t hate my mom, I didn’t feel unloved.


Now that you know that, I feel better about saying this: I am absolutely against spanking Sophie. I know the day will come where she will push me to the point of no return and spank I will. I also know that day will probably come more than once. I’ve never wanted to be the kind of parent you see in the mall, you know? The over tired mom holding on to her screaming child by the cuff of their shirt, wildly (savagely even) doling out smacks anywhere she can find flesh. I feel bad for that mom.

In a perfect world (hahahhahaha) Sophie would listen to me while I rationally explain why her behavior’s is bad and she would alter said behavior to the social norm. This is not a perfect world, so my entire discipline model revolves around punishments. Time outs, sit in the corner, give me all your Barbie’s, no TV for a week… these do work right? Right?!


I often feel that our early decision to practice attachment parenting has fostered this need to coddle Sophie and make excuses for her. Regan is as soft as melted butter when it comes to her and there are times when I can feel he’s slightly restful towards me because I force him to be firmer with her. I know he hates it. I hate it too. I don’t want to be this cantankerous dragon lady roaming the halls of my home (we have no halls) yelling commands to my little family.

I knew that the transition from baby to toddler was going to be interesting. I don’t think I fully realised or appreciated it for the emotional challenge it is proving to be.

Right now, the Humans are a family in crisis. We’re being held hostage by the emotional roller coaster that is our 1 year olds personality. Can someone call the SWAT team? We need help!

***DISCLAIMER: THIS POST HAS CAUSED ME SO MUCH GRIEF AND EVEN RESULTED IN AN ARGUMENT WITH SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME & I SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED JUST REMOVING IT, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BECAUSE THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS, THEY ARE PURELY SUBJECTIVE AND IF THAT'S TOO MUCH FOR SOMEONE THEN I THINK THAT SPEAKS MORE ABOUT THEM THAN IT DOES ABOUT ME***

Nikki Lincoln

Thanks for reading my little blog! I'm Nikki, writer, mom, passionate foodie and bookworm. In addition to my blog, I also craft creative and engaging content for various FMCG brands and a few events companies.

On my blog you'll find parenting tales, tips and advice, occasionally a recipe or two, products reviews and once in a while even a giveaway. If you'd like to say hi or find out more about working with me or my writing services please pop me a mail: nikki.lincoln@gmail.com

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