Wednesday, July 20, 2016

My sweet angel, I know that this is a trying time in our house. With the news of your little sister, you are trying so desperately to figure out what this all means for you and where your new place in our little family is. I wish I could just take your tiny face in my hands and kiss all your anxiety away.
When daddy and I found out that we were having another little girl, my heart just swelled with unbridled joy. My little gumdrop, I wish I could tell you how to be a big sister, but you see, when your aunt Dani was born, I was younger than you. I don’t remember her arrival. I didn’t go through the emotional rollercoaster you seem to be riding. It breaks my heart that I can’t relate better to these feelings of yours.

But don’t worry. There are three things I can tell you with absolute conviction, as one big sister to another:


As you know, mommy has two sisters. Growing up with Celine & Dani was like growing up with built in best friends. I don’t remember ever feeling lonely. I don’t remember ever feeling bored. Having a sister is like having a constant confidant that will always love you no matter what. And as you get older, that bond only grows. You share with her the agony of your first period, the joy of your first kiss, your hatred of your parents (damn those teen years are rough) and then eventually you get to share the bliss of motherhood (if you chose to have children). Aside from these milestones, there will be so much more moments of sheer happiness and utter heartbreak in your life and your sister will be there for you in ways that mommy will never be able to. The specialness of this bond will never stop.


Being a big sister doesn’t mean that you need to guide your baby sister and be a constant beacon of properness. Trust me. So many people will tell you that you need to be an example for her; I will never be one of these people. You will always be your own person. Free to fall and stand back up again without the pressure of needing to guide another person. In the end, just by being human, you will be guiding and be teaching your sister. My greatest hope for you is not that you never fail, but that when you do, you just get up and keep moving forward. And looking at you now, I know you will.


When you have a baby, you learn a capacity for love you never thought possible. It is so incredibly important to mommy that you know that having another baby will never mean that I will love you less. I couldn’t if I tried. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you became my world. Think of mommy’s love like a bubble. First, it was only daddy in the bubble, then you came along and the bubble got a little bigger and now your sister is coming and the bubble will stretch a little more. No love gets taken away, only added. Do you know what the most amazing part is? Mommy and daddy are not the only ones who will be adding extra love to their hearts, you will too. Even though I know you can’t imagine it now, trust me. Your heart will grow so with all the love you will feel for your little sister.

My darling Soph we are in the trenches right now, trying to show you the light and I know that you will only truly understand when you meet your sister for the first time. So for now, mommy will continue to cuddle and kiss every tantrum into submission. Just know that I love with every part of my being. When you feel afraid that my love for you might one day change, just remember that it can never.

Our love for you is like a mountain, unmoveable. It will always be. 

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