I CAN BE (AND AM) A FEMINIST AND A MOTHER.



This is going to be a short read because this argument is so ridiculous.

Not a day goes by when I am not confronted by this ridiculous notion that my choice to become a mother precludes my choice to embrace feminism.

The truth is, becoming a mother has unlocked a deeper desire to truly fight for equality, to really want it, not simply for myself, but for my daughters. In them, I have found an unwavering desire to demand a world where a womxn’s greatest threat is not a man. I want my girls to grow up in a world that is better than the one I grew up in. I want them to move through their teen years with an understanding of misogyny and rape culture that I have only really found in my thirties.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said: “FEMINISIM IS NOT A CLOAK I PUT ON ON CERTAIN DAYS AND TAKE OFF ON OTHER DAYS”. 

Motherhood and feminism are not mutually exclusive. Having a child fight it’s way out of my vagina has not caused my brain to malfunction to such an extent that I no longer feel the need to fight for an equal and just world.

We live in a society that praises the decision not to procreate. A single, man-free life is put on a pedestal and treated like a massive life achievement while having kids and a marriage is often looked at as a failure. Like you are somehow no longer whole because you have chosen to be in a committed and EQUAL relationship, like you have given up your agency because you created a life. Both are valid life choices deserving of celebration. One is no nobler than the other.


The very definition of feminism is to advocate for the equal rights of womxn. Did I miss the memo that said that this equality doesn’t apply between womxn? The thought that we could somehow be less than our childless peers is ridiculously absurd – I mean, have you even heard of BeyoncΓ©? Some of the most empowered womxn I know are mothers, mothers who are in touch with who they are, their passions, their voice, their sense of self. Mothers who are no less aware of, or committed to, feminism than their childless counterparts.

I demand to be seen as BOTH mother and feminist. While I am more than the two lives I brought into this world, those two lives are a huge part of why I am such a passionate feminist. I did not chose to have children as some last ditch attempt to hold onto relevance or to fit in with the patriarchal concept of “normal”. I am loudly proud of being a mother. I am loudly proud of being a feminist. I chose to celebrate the wonder of my body. I cheer with everything I have when I see empowered mothers stand up and say “my vagina is lit AF’, because honey, it really is. Women can do anything a man can do, but the one thing that sets us apart is our ability to bring life into this world. My domestic achievements, my proud mom moments, my vocal celebration of all things motherhood are no less important, no less noteworthy and no less feminist than any single, childless womxn’s cat selfie, tweet about internalized misogyny or meme about mansplaining. So sit the fuck down.


Nikki Lincoln

Thanks for reading my little blog! I'm Nikki, writer, mom, passionate foodie and bookworm. In addition to my blog, I also craft creative and engaging content for various FMCG brands and a few events companies.

On my blog you'll find parenting tales, tips and advice, occasionally a recipe or two, products reviews and once in a while even a giveaway. If you'd like to say hi or find out more about working with me or my writing services please pop me a mail: nikki.lincoln@gmail.com

2 comments:

  1. YYYYYYAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    *high five*
    *fist bump*
    With you all the way on this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽

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