WHY I'M OK WITH HAVING A MESSY HOUSE


Images of our home will never grace the pages of glossy decor magazines. We live in a constant state of mess. Piles of clothing rest patiently on bits of furniture. Toys are strewn liberally across the lounge. Our couch always seems to have bits of food jammed between the pillows. Our kids are happy. This house is their home, this house is their safe haven.

Regan and I are both fiercely passionate about beautiful design. We love furniture. We love fabrics. We love gorgeous pieces of art. Our home does not reflect these passions though. Why? Because we have never been able to find a balance between furnishing our home with what we love and creating a space our children love to be in.


Danielle da Souza, one of the mom's I follow on Twitter, recently Tweeted that kids don't need luxury brands, they need love and excitement and play... 

It resonated with me so deeply because it is something that has been bothering me so much lately. I've been at odds with my desire to have my idea of a beautiful home and my kids need to mess and play and explore. I've created wishlist upon wishlist of luxury kids decor. I've pinned every lust-worthy pillow and blanket and plushie. I've longed to purchase rugs and redo the play room with kiddie Eames replica furniture. But I haven't because it just hasn't felt important enough. Let's be honest, creating these beautiful spaces is so expensive and when I weigh up the cost of spending R4000 on a playroom table and chairs vs using that R4000 to take the kids on a mini break, the experience always trumps the object. A great example of this is our current play tent. I wanted to buy a teepee - trendy, beautiful design, that will look phenomenal in my Instagrams. Sophie wanted a bright pink nylon monstrosity from the Crazy Store. I told Regan that I’m just going to get the beautiful R1000+ teepee and he said: “if you’re the one that’s going to play in it then cool, but you’re not. If it’s for the girls then get the ugly one they will actually play in”. So that’s what we did. And they now have a tent that they practically live in.

Do we live in a society that places too much importance on appearance, on things? On the facade of “having it all” when really, we’re just scraping by? Probably. Do I judge those lucky parents who have these gorgeous houses filled with beautiful things? Definitely not. I have just come to accept that that is not going to be my house. My house will always be a mess. My house will always be more for my children than for myself. My house will never be a DPS in a glossy decor magazine. But my house will always be a home.

I've been striving to create this beautiful space filled with things and in the process I have come to realise that things don't make a house a home, we do. Home is where the love is strongest. So while you'll still find me pinning all the pretty things, my focus has definitely shifted from house to home.

Nikki
xx

Nikki Lincoln

Thanks for reading my little blog! I'm Nikki, writer, mom, passionate foodie and bookworm. In addition to my blog, I also craft creative and engaging content for various FMCG brands and a few events companies.

On my blog you'll find parenting tales, tips and advice, occasionally a recipe or two, products reviews and once in a while even a giveaway. If you'd like to say hi or find out more about working with me or my writing services please pop me a mail: nikki.lincoln@gmail.com

3 comments:

  1. This is so true! We were just about to buy the couch of my dreams (white, plush, beautiful) and then I found out I was pregnant. So we still have our old couches, and no-one really cares what happens to them. I think beauty and great design can happen later, when our kids aren't so little anymore and care more about what things look like. Life is (ideally) long, so hopefully we'll all get the home of our dreams sooner or later (and maybe the home of your dreams is one with biscuity couches but you just didn't know it yet).

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  2. Absolutely- home is where love is the strongest.And where your kids can just be kids. Our white couches are covered in crayon ( and now recently khokis too) but that's because I want our kids to be creative and have the presence tangled into our space. And I want to be a part of it. So toys are part of our lounge decor, any free space where I can see them and interact with them while I Cook,is their art studio...and whilst my some may due a thousand deaths at how much slime, paints and khokis I allow in my white couches, white carpet lounge, I too have made peace with this is no magazine feature house...but a home well lived in... Although, BB I am excited for the day I do get to make it all fancy and not covered in cookie crumbs and smudged chocolate :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Absolutely- home is where love is the strongest.And where your kids can just be kids. Our white couches are covered in crayon ( and now recently khokis too) but that's because I want our kids to be creative and have the presence tangled into our space. And I want to be a part of it. So toys are part of our lounge decor, any free space where I can see them and interact with them while I Cook,is their art studio...and whilst my some may due a thousand deaths at how much slime, paints and khokis I allow in my white couches, white carpet lounge, I too have made peace with this is no magazine feature house...but a home well lived in... Although, BB I am excited for the day I do get to make it all fancy and not covered in cookie crumbs and smudged chocolate :)

    ReplyDelete

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