THE INTERNET TURNED ME INTO A BULLY AND OTHER THINGS ABOUT SEPTEMBER

Friday, October 12, 2018 Cape Town, South Africa


BULLY? SURELY YOU DON’T MEAN ME? 

There is something to be said for the mob mentality that seems to go hand in hand with social media. Someone does something we believe is inherently wrong, we jump up and down with indignation and rush to call them out, to urge them to acknowledge their wrongness, to push our beliefs and opinions on them. This is the world we live in now. We own our opinions with absolute rapaciousness and we aggressively strive to have these opinions recognised as fact.

At the end of August the mom blog community was rocked with scandal (I am being dramatic), and in the wake of this moment, I felt like total shit. I realised how incredibly susceptible to absorbing residual drama my personality is. It’s so crazy, what is it about my brain that calls out for drama and scandal. Why do I grab the popcorn and add logs to fire while watching someone else’s life fall apart online? Why is this something that I can only see as negative in hindsight? I started September feeling like a bully. Feeling like all the habits I work hard to cultivate in my children were so far out of reach for me personally. It felt horrible.

I read this post that Laetitia from Poppet Patch wrote about putting down the things that don’t serve you anymore and her post was the catalyst for an Oprah-esq AHA moment


I don’t want to be the kind of person that views other people’s pain as entertainment, even if this feeling is very internal. I don’t want to walk around the streets of my mind and find them crowded with other people’s drama – God knows, I have enough of my own.

So during the month of September, I made an active effort to be a better kind of person. To not view my opinions as fact, to accept that we can disagree and still be friends, to try harder to walk away from conversations that make me feel negative and (this is a big one) to steer clear of gossip. I said I am trying, I slip up often but I am so much more aware of my thought process now, and I feel like I am able to check myself before I wreck myself.


WORKING OUT, WORKING IN, WORKING IT! 

September was also the month I started my Journey to Summer Challenge with ABC Boot Camp – let it be known that Journey to Summer is the name of the program and not, in fact, my approach to getting fit and healthy, this is about so much more than just summer – which I’ve written extensively about over the month. You can also keep up to date by following me on Instagram. One of the best things about joining this workout program has been the way that I feel, and not necessarily the way that I look. Simple things like walking up a bridge, hell, even getting off the couch, just feel a lot easier now. And I am only 2 weeks in, imagine how awesome I will feel in December when the challenge is done?

If you’re looking for some inspiration to get back to being active, check out this post written by Belinda from Making Mountains. 


There are 10 weeks to go until I go on leave and I am using that time frame to really apply myself to adopting the good, healthy habits I need to carry me through the rest of this weight loss journey because honestly, exercising is only about 10% of the battle for me. I need to work really hard to overcome my negative relationship with food and that part is never easy. I will post more about what I am doing to improve my relationship with food soon.


SHARING AND GROWING

In addition to the working out, the lifestyle changes and the drama, I was also honoured to be featured in Shante Hutton’s Roses for Thorns series where I got the chance to talk about my miscarriages. I would love it if you popped over there and gave it a read. Miscarriage is this really soul destroying thing so many women go through and I just want all women who have gone through it or are going through it to know that they are not alone. We can lessen our pain by sharing it.


OTHER HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE MONTH

We had our first trip to the beach.
I got way fancy for a work dinner. 
We got some awesome new books from Bargain Books.
We loved each other fiercely. 
We fought bitterly.
I got new shoes. 


SOME AMAZING THINGS I READ DURING SEPTEMBER 

Year One by Nora Roberts – will post a review soon.
The weight of school admin – as if moms don’t have enough to worry about – The Mom Diaries
The reasons for home-schooling in South Africa – Harassed Mom
A guide to modern parenting: Back to Basics – Heart Mama Blog

Today is the 12th of October, so yes, this little update is really late. But I am firmly in the “better late than never” camp.

How are you guys?

Nikki
Xxx

3 comments

  1. Love this post Nikki! We can all learn from hindsight....and when we learn....we grow. It's when we never see anything wrong with our actions....well then we're just assholes. Lol.

    Lots of exciting things ... I'm encouraged by your journey to fitness. It was once my journey a long time ago and I so desperately wish I can find the motivation to get there again. I'll definitely be following and hopefully I too will get off the couch again!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for sharing my post! And great to hear of all your progress...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just love your authenticity, Nikki!
    This is a very inspirational post. Thank you so much for the mention.
    Love,
    Tish
    xxx

    ReplyDelete

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