Monday, October 29, 2018 Cape Town, South Africa

You guys might have noticed that I am on a bit of an intentional weight-loss journey. I’m one month in and I wanted to share a little update on how things are going on where my mind is at right now.


The title of this post has probably given you a hint; things are not going too well. At the beginning of this process, I decided to take a phased approach to shed the extra kilos I am carrying around. To me, this phased approach looked something like: attending 2 – 3 ABC Bootcamp session a week and continuing to eat what I have been eating. I mentioned in a previous post, that one of my biggest learning thus far has been that exercise is really only 10% of the journey for me. The biggest and most terrifying issue remains to be my unhealthy relationship with food. Not addressing this has lead to one very surprising and disheartening thing, weight gain. Yep. For the first time in years, I have accepted that I need to lose weight and the only thing that has happened is that I have actually gained weight. It’s difficult not to feel like a bit of a failure. I know that I have gained muscle and muscle is heavier than fat, but still…


Today will be the start of the first week of adjusting my diet to a portion-controlled eating plan. I have 8 weeks until I go on leave for the Festive Season and while I don’t plan to binge out during the period, I recognise that it may be harder to stick to a strict eating plan during this time. So I am taking the next 8 weeks as a full-on total challenge to myself to stick to my new eating plan. I will then take a 2-week break and pick it up again in early January.


Bootcamp remains to be a happy place for me. While I have not enjoyed amazing weight loss, I have never felt better, stronger or fitter than I do right now. The first month was difficult, the workouts get progressively harder, but I have also struggled a bit with my schedule. Finding time to leave the house to do a workout when you have 2 small kids and a partner that doesn’t get home early is a big hurdle and there were many times this month where I questioned how realistic it is for me to continue on this program with my current schedule. In the end, I decided to stick with it. I was going to share a really great before and after pic I had taken at the start of this program and again 2 weeks ago, but truthfully, I have had a bit of a regression and that after picture no longer reflects the way I look.



I have always felt like this blog is my place to be the most authentic version of myself, my place to share my truths and be honest about the kind of life I lead. So I am here now to tell you guys that its one month in, I am feeling mixed emotions, on one hand, there have been incredible achievements and on the other, I’ve been feeling like a bit of a failure. I did an Instagram poll a while back and asked what sort of content you’d all like to see on the @fatmomonadiet account and the response was largely mixed, some of you would like more posts about the diet side of things and some of you would like to know about the emotional side of this journey. I can’t please everyone, but I am going to try and do a bit of both.

It’s been a tough month for many reasons, and I always find it easier to deal with challenges by simply ignoring them. I would not like to confront my unhealthy food habits, the idea of really sitting down and unpacking the “why” behind my binge eating is incredibly unappealing, but I am pushing myself to do better, for me.

I have started a health and weight loss bullet journal and some of the spreads I am including are:
  • My why 
  • Starting measurements
  • Long-term goals
  • Periodic stats tracker
  • Favourite healthy meals
  • Weekly workout plan
  • Weight loss tracker
  • Plan for the week
  • Daily tracker
  • Short-term goals
  • Rewards & achievements
  • Notes about what I’ve learned
  • A brain dump about my day
  • A list of obstacles and how to overcome them
  • Inspirational quotes
  • Journaling and reflection pages
Navigating body issues is a freaking minefield. If you’re not struggling through your own internal monologue, you’re facing the external noise that constantly leads you to question if what you’re doing is the right thing.
One of my favourite bloggers, Kelly, from @simplelivingfolks posted this a few weeks ago:

I’m incredibly grateful the body positive movement exists. It was the body positive community that helped me unpack my hurt around my body. It helped me realize I was more than a body and that laid the foundation for my shifting mindset in how I view self care. . But there is a problem in the body positive community: We are not kind or welcoming towards intentional weight loss. I have seen it over and over. When someone starts *purposefully* losing weight, they’re automatically questioned on if they’re “really” body positive and if they “actually” love themselves or accept other plus size people. . I’ve seen articles go viral that practically discourage intentional weight loss, telling people, “90% of people who lose weight gain it all back,” and paint the image that everyone who is purposefully losing weight is suffering on some one egg-one yogurt-one granola bar a day starvation diet when that isn’t true. I’ve seen prominent body positive accounts make memes about how they don’t care about my progress in the gym and we should never be public or proud about our weight loss because someone who is the size we used to be will see that and feel bad about themselves and that’s selfish of me. . Hear this: My weight loss is NOT a judgment of your weight. This is about me. It’s not about you and I’m not judging you any more than I’d be judging brunettes if I suddenly went blonde. (Meaning = not at all) When it comes to you, so long as you’re safe, happy, and loved, that’s all that matters to me. We need to question this cultural mentality that the personal decisions of other people are a personal judgment of us. (Whether that be diet, parenting choices, or other lifestyle decisions) . I’m not losing weight because I hate myself. You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself. I had to START from a place of love to embark on these goals. I’ve lost 43 lbs so far and I’m not sorry about that, but that doesn’t mean I am judging anyone who weighs 43+ lbs more than me either. This is about me. And my intentional weight loss is not a judgment of your body. . Thanks for listening ❤️ This is something that’s been bothering me for awhile and I just needed to express it.
A post shared by Kelly • Simple Living Folks (@simplelivingfolks) on

I know many people will roll their eyes when I say this, but a portion of my struggle to deal with my unhealthy eating habits stems from the little nagging voice that keeps whispering in my ear about self-love and acceptance and this notion that being on a diet means I hate myself. I don’t and I am slowly working to get to a place where I can comfortably shut out all that incredibly loud noise which inspires so many others but just makes me feel bad about myself and my choices.

This post has turned into an unintentional brain dump, as it sometimes does I guess.
I would love to hear from you guys. Who’s on a diet? How are you feeling about it? Does part of your diet include examining the why behind your weight gain? What are you doing to address those underlying issues?

Don’t forget, if you’d like a voucher for one free Bootcamp session, pop your email address into the comments section of this post!

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