Tuesday, May 02, 2017

Every year I start off your birthday with the story of your birth. This year, I started telling the story and 3 minutes in, you said, “ok, bye mom”. It was cute and funny and absolutely heartbreaking. You are growing my sweet girl, emotionally and physically, and try as I may I just can’t seem to hold on to these years tightly enough.

The past 4 years are a complete contradiction; on one hand I feel like you were born a minute ago, how are you so big already? And on the other, I know that I have always known you. You have always been in my heart. I don’t even know what my life was before you came into it.

You are the funniest little girl I have ever known, not a day goes by where you don’t make daddy and I laugh. You have a view of the world that is so na├»ve and also so knowing. You are kind and smart and so absolutely perfect. Mommy grapples constantly with feeling like I am not doing the most or the best: am I raising you to know your worth, are you too entitled, do I hug you enough, was forcing you to limit your extra murals selfish? All these struggles I go through every day and at the end of it all I need to do is look you, and I know I am doing ok.

You have a light inside your heart that shines so brightly my sweet girl. We went to the doctor not too long ago and you were nattering away as usual, and the doctor said “what a confident little girl” and you know, that was the first time I realised that daddy and I have done a great job. You are confident with yourself and who you are and my hope for you is that you never lose that.

At your little age of 4, you are already so accomplished:

You write your own name beautifully
You are passionate about art
You adore your doggy Duke
You are an absolutely amazing big sister to Gracie
You know, with such unwavering certainty, that you want to be a doctor
You have daddy wrapped around your little finger
You live your life with such empathy for your peers
Your kind, loving spirit inspires me daily

My little angel, I hope that 4 is a great year for you. I hope that you have a blast at your birthday party. I hope that you continue to grow and learn and flourish at school. You will always be a true blessing in my life.  

Mommy and daddy love you more than you could ever know.


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